My first Genesis Article

Sheena Vs the worst car salesman ever
By the way the last two pics are just level 1
Bosses in this game just rape you as the game moves on.

Contra Hard Corps (1994-Konami) : A Tribute to the hardest fucking game I ever played.

Here it is folks, a Sega Genesis Article where I don't bash, knock, defame, or even negatively criticize Sega. I do however cut into Konami though, so sorry. On my blog I use my first amendment right to victimize games, and its developers. I will be fair and just this time and this page wont end in someone getting depressed or being told that their game SUCKS, because this game actually kicked ass back in the day, the downside was that it was not for newbies or people who think that just because they conquered Halo or Guitar Hero, they can defeat ANY game.

Super Nintendo had the some great titles going for them in 1992, few that I can remember. Contra III: the alien wars , was the only one that really sticks in my head. I loved playing it and after hours and hours of grueling over trying to defeat it, I finally finished the game until the very end (only to find that I needed to select the higher difficulty level in order to see the ending which was total horseshit, 'Normal' is enough). In those times Contra was the original NES's hardest games and Contra III up-ed that ante even more, resulting in a gaming experience that wasn't designed to be beaten, it was designed to beat you. If I could go back in time I would love to have bought stock in Galoob and Codemasters, the makers of the Game Genie cheating prep, because I'm certain they sold units like crazy due to this very game.

Sega owners were-I imagine- very bitter. They didn't get a version of Contra at the same time, so after Komani's office perhaps getting loaded with hate mail from pissed Sega fans, they had a go at making a version of the game that was for the 'edgier' system at that time. Contra Hard Corps released in 1994 to good reception, we loved it... at first.

Fact: This is the hardest game ever made

I believe that opinions generally turn into FACTS after a majority of people agree. CHC has been on the ' top hardest games' of all times near the top more than any other game I've heard about. This game isn't just hard to me, to me its nearly impossible to get through it without a Game Genie which points me to the fact that this title has NO cheat codes built into its programming, so a Game Genie is the only way.

From the constant onslaught of aliens and robots, to the speed at which they move, to unpredictable patterns, to those fucking monsters also having GREAT aim. This game was the only one that could turn a calm man like myself and make me want use my Genesis controller in to a boomerang. I'm terrible at this game anyways but its difficulty makes me so bad that I cannot even finish level 1. Its tough, and apparently I'm not alone in saying this.

Contra games were designed for arcades with the purpose of eating rolls after roll of quarters. These games are not impossible to defeat, as long as you remember from the last time you played, just HOW you died before, but Contra was the game that kept you coming back for more. Maybe you'd make it an inch or two THIS time.

However, CHC was not a bad game. It-in my humble opinion- is one of the top 5 best games that the Genesis had to offer. Its features include selectable characters, multiple paths and endings, and speed that the SNES wasn't able to do with its processor being half the power. The graphics are not as good as Contra III on the SNES. BUT with as long as this game is, one could imagine that the game's look would suffer just a bit. This game doesn't give you as many foot soldier battles like in CIII, instead we get about 5 boss battles per stage. Huge Bosses, some of which take up the whole goddamn screen, and with the faster processor you'll never see their swipe of death coming at you until it hits.

The only way I was able to finish this game was using the Game Genie. It must have taken me an hour to get through it, its a long run, and its loaded with hundreds of unique and creatively designed enemies and a story that is pretty well thought up (for 1994).

One thing that I loved and hated about this game was the final level. You'll think that you've reached your last boss battle, and suddenly NOPE its not over. Then your flying on a rocket ship clinging to the outside of it and shooting at alien filth that pokes its tentacles out of the panels and NOPE still more to kill. Then you'll be at the tip of the climbing and flying rocket and be forced to kill another giant boss that has about 5 different attack patterns as you try to fire away at its red 'weak spot'. Action movies don't mount the dangerous tension this high.

When its all over the games ending is really quite small. You know why? Because you weren't really supposed to beat this game. It was a different time, a time when you had to commit to winning. No saves, no cheats, and no mercy. Further proving the fact that they don't make them like they used to.